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Paul: A farmer creates a new strain of organically grown dildos and plants a whole field of them. Now he is having a big problem with squatters.

Paul: These are genuine clips from council complaint letters >>>>>>* He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.!>>>>* It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.>>>>* I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.More to follow................

Paul: The reporter was interviewing the 75-year-old politician," Yesterday you said that you would resign from politics if your memory started to go...""No," the politician,"I don't remember saying that." Say No More!

Paul: Clubbers in Yorkshire have taken to injecting Ecstasy directly into their mouths.This dangerous practice is known as "E by Gum"

Paul: Micheal Jackson has sacked a japanese lawyer on his defence team. He gave his reasons as being the lawyer could severely prejudice his trial.The lawyer "Fu Kem Yung" said he thought Mr Jackson was over reacting a bit.

Paul: What;s brown and only half eaten? The Pope's Easter Egg!

Paul: A pantomime in aid of 'Help the Paranoid' decended into chaos last night when someone in the the audience shouted "He's behind you!" :)

Syd: very "interesting" blog. Feel free to stop by anytime ..

Paul: The Half Law of anaesthetics ~ An Anaesthetic is the half awake, watching the half asleep, being half murdered, by the half witted

Paul: Jacko's stuck in his hotel room before his trial. He sends out one of hisbody guards for a DVD to watch.>>>"Shall I get Aladdin?" asks the body guard>>>" Are you f*cking crazy, I'm in enough trouble" says Jackson.

Me: Just been watching the BBC. Allegedly the americans shot down a flying carpet over baghdad the other day.However they had to apologise. It was an Allied Carpet !

paul: David Beckham's voice is going to be used to make all stadium announcements at England's Euro 2004 matches. An FA spokesman said, "We heard he comes over the PA really well"

Paul: words of wisdom, courtesy of the US Military .........."Aim towards the enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher."When the pin is pulled, Mr Grenade is not our friend." - US Marine Corps.

Paul: Paul Dickov walks into an Hotel room in spain, Sees three German birds and says "do you wanna have sex", "Nine" says the german bird, "Hang on then, i'll fetch me mates

jayne: Jordan & Peter were in the jungle when they heard a noise."Is that Jonny Rotten" said Jordan-"hope not" said Peter-"its the only one ive got"

Paul: Two sharks were swimming off Cornwall.The first shark turns to the other and says "I'm bloody sick of mackerel, fancy nipping up to Morecombe for a Chinese"?

paul: Mother Superior calls all the nuns together and says to them, "I must tell you something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thank God," says an elderly nun in the back. "I am so tired of chardonnay."

Paul: Michael Owen goes into a nightclub. He goes up to a girl, grabs her tits and asks for a blowjob. She looks startled and says " You're a little forward aren't you?"

Paul: Snow what SNOW?

Paul: This is the shout box. it can be used for quick messages or conversations, in real time, with other site visitors. hope you like this new part of the site.......Let me know what u think.